This weekend, my mom and brother were here for Karis' birthday party and on Sunday we all hung out in our jammies and ate scones and looked at old picture albums. It was awesome. This one picture of me at 6 months old caught my eye:
(Me on top, circa November 1982 and Haddie below, September 2013.)
And then I saw this one and recognized that smile and those eyes in my oldest girl:
(Me on the left right before my 3rd birthday and Karis on the right, right before her 3rd birthday.)
Genetics is a crazy thing, huh? And even though I certainly didn't teach Haddie how to suck these two little fingers or Karis how to smile, I was struck by the way our kids are a mirror of us in so many ways and how we have the totally undeserved position of authority in their lives that we can use to either pass down good or bad.
No parent ever sets out to pass down bad things to their kids, right? I didn't, at least. We have two dogs. They are lovely in many ways. Sam was an answer to prayer (I should write a post about that) and Libby is SO good with kids. But in this season of life, they just bug the mess out of me. They stay outside most of the day, but when they come inside I'll often yell at them and certainly over react to them doing annoying things like eating crayons and eating food off the counter. I'll never forget the first time Karis yelled at Libby. "Libby, no!" She didn't just say the exact words I say (that's easy enough), she said it with the exact intonation that I say it. And it hit me. I've taught my child to yell. Fail.
But there are other things that we've passed down that I am proud of. Like loving people. Almost every morning Karis says "Who we going to see this day, mommy?" because she knows that a huge chunk of our time is spent investing in relationships. She loves Bible stories and "God's true Word" as they say at BSF. She says thank you (most of the time :)). She cuddles with and sings hymns to her dolls. And one day, I pray that she will love to pray and be devoted to the "greater work" (Oswald Chambers) that prayer is.
(Karis singing "I Love to Tell the Story" to her bunny rabbit.)
My grandmother put together the scrapbooks that my mom and brother and I were looking through on Sunday and one of the best things about it is all the letters she saved that my mom and her had written back and forth. When I found this one from my grandmother (read it under the picture below), I literally wept. You see, the spiritual legacy that has been passed down to me from my family (which is farrrrr from perfect) has been the result of years of diligent, heartfelt, sacrifical prayers said for me ever since I was little. Praying BIG for our children is passing down a spiritual inheritance that cannot be taken away.
(Me and grandma in 1987.)
Dearest Megan, April
2, 1987
Your Grandpa & I love you so much. I’m so glad your Mom
has been able to show you that for us. We’ve known you a long time, almost five
years off and on; we’ve been fortunate to have you close enough to hold hands
& read stories. Those times are very special for us.
When you were very little, even before you were born, your
Grandpa, Mom, & I began to pray for you. We knew, before you were born,
that you are a very special child. We could see right away when you were born and
were a tiny baby, that our Heavenly Father, who we call God, had given you a
perfect & beautiful body. We could see the doctor was right, you are
stubborn, like we are. So we know you pretty well. When we’re not together, you
& your Mom keep us up to date on what’s happening in your life, when we
write letters & talk on the phone.
I remember when you & I welcomed Treat into your family.
Do you remember how tiny he was then? You were SO tender & careful with
him. You loved him right away. You learned how to care for him by the times you
did right & the times you made mistakes. That’s how we all learn. Not one
of us does the right thing often enough. Our Heavenly Father shows us His love
by teaching us adults in our mistakes for which we are sorry and by those times
we do right and we are grateful.
Your Mom and Dad show you their love for you and God’s love
for you when they show you when you do things right and when you don’t. All the
time, when you are awake & asleep, your Mom & Dad love you whether you
are doing anything or not. They love you all the time because of who you are—a
special wonderful child. That’s the way your Grandpa & I love you. We don’t
know everything you do; sometimes we don’t know anything but we still love you
& know you to be our lovely special Megan. Our Heavenly Father loves you
even more than all of us love you, He loves you so much that He gave His only
Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, so that you would know & love Him. He loved
& loves you before you can love Him back. One day you will know Him the way
your Mom knows Him now.
I bet you want to run away & play now because none of
this makes sense. Well, no one understands any of this & God knows that
better than we do. So He gave us a gift of faith. Because of that gift of
faith, when you pray with your Mom & read the Bible, you will come to know
who God and Jesus are for you. One way for you to see how God loves you is to
look at your Dad & how he protects you & takes care of you. That’s
God’s plan for fathers. God loves you through your Mom & see the way she
holds you close & all the ways she has to show you her love. There are lots
of people who love you in Southern Pines & here including your Grandpa
& me. You just know that all the time. That’s God’s love for you.
When we pray we tell God about our feelings & wants.
When we listen to Him, He tells us His feelings & wants. When I listen to
Him, He wants me to tell you this, I believe He is saying something like this
to you, Megan: “I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m here when you need me. I have
a plan for your life. You can count on me. I will always take care of you.
Nothing will happen to you that we can’t work out together. I trust your Mom
& Dad to show you my love and my ways. Already, you know many things that
are right & the ones that are wrong. See how much you have learned already.
You know how many things work, you know about the feelings of laughter
(tee-hee) & tears, you know about being mad & running away & being
glad & running back. I’m proud of you when you choose the right & I’m
patient when you choose wrong, & I’m proud that you know the difference. I
love you when you’re silly. I love you all the time. I’m proud that you know
what my love is even though it’s something you can’t really see or touch. I
kiss & touch you in your heart and with the warmth of the sun, the wind
& the rain & the gifts of beauty all around you.”
See you at the train real soon.
Love,
Grandma
OH. MY. WORD. I want to write my grandchildren a note. I will do. Your Grandma has inspired me. I love this!
ReplyDeleteThis is AWESOME.
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