day five: merry christmas!

 (This is what our house looks like right now.  It's October. I love it.) 

Remember how I mentioned in my first post how I gave up blogging because I realized I like people more than blogging?  That happened to me today.  It was Karis' third birthday party and I knew I was going to be tired and wanting to hang out with my friends and family way more than write this blog and if I was like all of my cool, responsible, plan ahead friends I would've written this post ahead of time. But I didn't.

So tonight you get my leftovers, blogworld. 

The theme for Karis' party was Christmas because sweet Karis LOVES Christmas.  In fact, I have seriously prayed on multiple occasions that she would love Jesus as much as she loves Christmas.  At least 5 out of 7 days a week when we pull in the garage she asks me where her Christmas tree is because she sees the big Christmas tree box sitting on the top shelf in the garage.  Her Mary and Joseph dolls are in the mix with Bruce the Shark from Nemo and her dolls and Snoopy and Ladybug Girl as regulars that we play with.  When we want to take Karis somewhere special, we go to Panera (to visit Cam and April and get a bagel with cream cheese) or to Hobby Lobby to see all the Christmas trees.

 (Our first Panera/Hobby Lobby date a few months ago. The pictures don't do it justice.)

In BSF two weeks ago we were looking at the birth of Christ and we studied one of my favorite passages.  It's Mary's response to the unbelievable news that she was pregnant.  Women get the news that they are unexpectedly pregnant a lot.  I got that news one day 3 years and 9 months ago when I peed on a stick after realizing I had just gone to a high school cafeteria and thought the hamburgers looked good -- which then led me to want McDonald's -- a place wayyyy below my typical food diva appetite -- which then led me to wonder if I might be knocked up.  Peed on that stick.  Bam.  Unexpected pregnancy.  BIG TIME EMOTIONS happened at that point.  Fear.  Wonder.  Excitement. Awe.  Disbelief.  Did I mention fear?

So I try and put myself in Mary's shoes and our circumstances are so different but my heart beats with hers in that stomach dropping, life altering, everything just changed moment.  And here's Mary's response:

"I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38)

 (One day old Karis.)

And so today as I celebrate the birth of the little girl who was my unexpected news 3 years ago AND Jesus' birth who was Mary's unexpected news 2,013 years ago, it occurs to me that today praying BIG is praying like Mary.  Complete submission.  Laying my life down.  Taking up my cross.  Saying yes to Jesus and no to the world.

Because when we respond like Mary -- "Have my life, Lord." -- He takes it and our little bitty life plans and dreams are thrown out the window and He repaints a much bigger, more beautiful (and way more costly) life for us.  Mary had what I imagine would be one of the closest, most intimate looks of Jesus' life on earth than any other person.  She looked into His eyes while she nursed Him.  She listened to Him breathe heavy as He fell asleep on her chest.  She held His hand when He went to school.  She listened to Him memorize Leviticus when He was in grade school.  She followed Him during His public ministry and was probably one of His biggest cheerleaders.  She watched Him die on the cross and I can't imagine the crushing pain she experienced even as He used some of His last words to make sure His disciples looked after her.

Oh, Jesus, MAY IT BE TO ME AS YOU HAVE SAID.  Help me to say these words and lay down my life, especially when my circumstances are hard, that I could have a life so much BIGGER than me.